This should be on record as the first time John Key has managed to recall anything.
This should be on record as the first time John Key has managed to recall anything.
Interesting poll spotted over at Kiwiblog today. It seems that no-mates National are trying to decide who Jonkey needs to have that cup of tea with next year.
Meanwhile, rumours abound that Jonkey will be opening his 2014 election campaign by singing a rousing cover of Stuck in the Middle With You, backed up by all star covers band Asset Stealer’s Wheel.
‘Parties to the left of me, parties to the right, here I am stuck in the middle without a clue’.
Looking over the tweets from last night’s journalistic clusterfuck from the MSM published on an article over at the Standard, it occurs to me that there was an attempted coup after all – we were all just looking for the target and the agitator in the wrong place.
I am going to attempt to ‘genre blog’ this one, in the speculative manner peculiar to Mr. Duncan Garner, and Mr. Patrick Gower …
Set your enemy up to fail? Check:
Duncan Garner 9:05pm: Good source. Coup on in Labour. Letter of no confidence being circulated. It’s over for Shearer. Watch for his resignation.
Reassure the target that they are safe? Check.
Julie Fairey 9:59pm: @chrishipkins @Garner_Live Garner has just said on Radio Live that @patrickgowernz has the letter and will show it on Nightline TV3.
Deny everything? Check.
Just catching up on last night’s tweets. Obviously wasn’t on Nightline & don’t have letter!
Heads up, Garner – there’s a red hot poker up your ass, and it looks like Gower’s name is on the handle.
Sometimes the next best thing to redemption via career hara kiri for a disgraced politician is to take the blade to the bad guys and remind us all whose side they are on. Clayton Cosgrove was in urgent need of political redemption or self-sacrifice after that visit to the Sky City corporate box at Eden Park. Sure enough he has blooded his blade, causing a brief divergence between John Key and Bill English, who suddenly had different stories to one another – and a different story again to treasury – on whether or not the proceeds of asset sales are going to be spent propping up Solid Energy.
This is the stuff opposition politics is built on – close reading of official paperwork, following one’s nose and baiting the hook, striking when the time is right and splitting the enemy camp so that they are so busy scrambling to get back on message that they throw lazy and easily refuted comments into the wind without thinking. For instance, Jonkey’s gonna look back on this one and burn:
Early yesterday Prime Minister John Key said Labour spokesman for state-owned enterprises Clayton Cosgrove was “making it up” when he had pointed to Treasury papers showing the Government was planning to use $100m from the sale of Mighty River Power shares for “Solid Energy recovery facilities”.
If you are going to make that kind of claim off the cuff, you’d best not be dealing with someone who stepped up to the plate ready to bat a home run. From the same article:
Key later backed down, saying the allocation appeared to be “buried pretty deep” in the Budget documents.
“I haven’t actually seen those myself, well I can’t recall them.” [cheers to Jonkey for bringing the obvious lulz - CJ]
Cosgrove said Key had revealed “his true incompetence … with his bizarre denial that asset sale proceeds have been set aside to bail out Solid Energy, despite signing it off in Cabinet”.
Jonkey’s lazy accusation that Cosgrove was “making it up” leaves the PM trying to credibly assert that on the one hand, he apparently knows enough to claim that Cosgrove is “making it up”, but on the other hand claim he either definitely hasn’t seen the papers, or can’t recall having seen them. Yes, he is still playing that card after all that has gone on.
Cosgrove meanwhile drives the humiliation home with a good sledge to the skull that shows Steven Joyce and Judith Collins up as the amateurs they really are at this stuff:
Labour’s Clayton Cosgrove found the reference to Solid Energy in the Budget documents and said National had promised that those asset sales proceeds would be used for other assets, “not to pay for its mistakes”.
Nice combo, Cosgrove – sew disarray in the enemy ranks that shows that the incumbent is getting flabby and off message, put a Nat-cat among the pigeons over at treasury, and put yet more gravel in the boots of the argument for asset sales. It also nicely lines up with the vulnerability this government has always felt over their tax cuts, which have necessitated a budget-blowing strategic deficit, which just keeps growing and growing. Instead of making the case for asset sales more compelling, it has slowly shaped into a whitewash, with the investment fund formed from the proceeds of asset sales looking more and more like a vehicle designed to go around papering over the cracks those tax cuts have caused.
Meanwhile, Jonkey and English are left childishly heaping the blame for Cosgrove’s revelation upon treasury officials:
and from Key:
Maybe that’s why these guys are all about asset sales; they just hate taking ownership of anything!
Best of all though is that for those of us who reside outside the beltway, the result over at Stuff looks like this:
Well done, Cosgrove – you’ve just about earned your keep with that one. Now if the Labour party could bring itself to stop the navel gazing and attempting to re-live the debates of the 1970s and remember that this is what the working class wants – overconfident tory fucks getting served a belly full of their own cold blue steel for the first time in far too long by a left winger who knows the political value of a well served intervention and a documented fuckup.
With the GCSB scandal still bubbling away beneath the surface of the NZ media’s ossified brain-crust, the PRISM revelations have provided a useful push in emphasising the importance of the issue of surveillance and privacy. Most comment to date in the NZ MSM has been limp to say the least, while the blog-right has largely offered apologist coverage at best.
However, I do feel that the mood is darkening unecessarily, and resistance with a little light heartedness must prevail. So without further ado, I would like to bring our readers’ attention to a most excellent project, which kicks off globally today (12/06/2013) at 7PM NZT. A well timed smile in the face of the death machine, Operation Troll the NSA is superior to any spy programme in asserting and supporting what it is we supposedly cherish about the ‘Western’ world and its democratic, open societies. PRISM is not the price we should be willing to pay for freedom. In fact, it exemplifies everything we should seek to be free from.
Ladies and gentlemen, let us troll the NSA!
Act Party leader John Banks will be called to court to answer allegations that he knowingly received donations to his Super City mayorship campaign from internet mogul Kim Dotcom and SkyCity but recorded them as anonymous.
I didn’t think anything was going to top the humour of Banksie’s massively insincere attempt to get onside with public opinion and make ACT voters believe that he has in fact had his own road to Damascus conversion to the Libertarian ideology of the party he leads.
The only time he even comes close to sounding convincing is the bit where he claims someone called him ‘Banksie’ in a text message.
From the looks of the Herald article, we are going to get the painstaking humour of Banksie’s rainmaking drawn out for the amusement of all of us:
A commercial lawyer for Dotcom, Gregory Towers, told police that he called Mr Banks after Dotcom was arrested on a warrant from the US.
Mr Towers said Dotcom needed medical attention and asked Mr Banks to help.
According to Mr Towers, Mr Banks said he could not help because doing so could have “potentially adverse effects” for Dotcom, in light of his support of Mr Banks’ mayoral campaign.
Brilliant. This really is gonna be shits and giggles!
I almost wasn’t going to repost this repost, but then I flicked over a tab to this article from stuff and I thought ah, how serendipitous! In life, she gave struggling industries the kiss of death; in death, she breathes life into a dying industry (not that any jobs will come of it of course, and in that sense there’s consistency).
All we ever hear about from music industry sources these days is the trouble they have generating sales in the face of widespread piracy. Instead, we have this:
A spokeswoman from Britain’s Official Charts Company said the track, sung in the film by the Munchkin characters alongside Judy Garland’s Dorothy after the oppressive Wicked Witch of the West dies, would hit No. 10 in the singles chart on Wednesday.
“The surge in sales follows a campaign to get the track to Number 1 on the Official Singles Chart following the death of Margaret Thatcher on Monday,” said the spokeswoman.
She said the song had sold over 10,600 copies by late Tuesday which was about 5,000 copies away from a Top 3 placing.
Another version of the song, by late US singer Ella Fitzgerald, was ranked No. 5 in the Amazon download chart.
Then there’s these crazy kids.
There’s only one thing that disappoints me about all this comment and analysis however. While Loach made a brave move in the face of maudlin tributes and grim celebrations of the normalisation of Thatcherism, the Dead Kennedys gave Thatcher and Reagan’s entire weltanshauung the middle finger at the height of its brutally coercive power. Nobody covering Thatcher’s legacy so far seems to have looked back on this gem, in which the Kennedys make full use their trademark acidity to highlight the lack of empathy and gratuitous cruelty of the 1980s new right and their approach to geopolitics, democracy, and industrial relations. While left-of-centre parties throughout the commonwealth today shrink from the task of criticising or attempting to roll back these reforms, this song makes them seem all the more spineless and unfit to consider themselves representatives of those who were left behind to rot.